Ep # 137 - Home Care to Care Homes: The Eldercare Journey with Amy Friesen
In this episode of "Your Retirement Planning Simplified," host Joe Curry welcomes Amy Friesen, senior living expert. They highlight the challenges and solutions for aging individuals and their families. They examine various aspects of elder care, including planning for home modifications, navigating retirement homes, and understanding long-term care options. They emphasize the importance of planning, open family communication, and understanding the real costs involved in care options. Amy also provides insights into caregiver burnout and the importance of balancing life commitments with caregiving responsibilities.
Key Takeaways
• Planning for elder care is crucial to avoid crisis situations and ensure a smooth transition for aging individuals.
• Open communication and understanding family dynamics can help in making more infonned and amicable elder care decisions.
• Retirement communities offer social and care benefits but must be chosen according to the individual's lifestyle and care needs.
• Caregiver burnout is a real concern that requires self-awareness and sometimes professional support to manage.
• Financial planning should consider potential future care needs, balancing costs between home modifications and facility care.
Ideas Worth Sharing
• "Caregiver burnout requires us to acknowledge our limits and prioritize our well-being." - Amy Friesen
• "Planning is the antidote to crisis in elder care. A little foresight can go a long way." - Amy Friesen
• "You're not alone in this journey; there are resources and people ready to support you." - Amy Friesen
• "Retirement living isn't one-size-fits-all; it's about finding the right fit for your lifestyle and health needs." - Amy Friesen
Resources & Links
Book: Breadcrumbs by Amy Friesen
A guide for caregivers navigating elder care decisions.
🔗 Learn more about Breadcrumbs
Amy Friesen’s Website: Tea & Toast
Specializing in elder care and senior living planning.
🔗 Visit Tea & Toast
Eldercare Planners of Canada
A network of professionals offering elder care planning services across Canada.
🔗 Learn more about Eldercare Planners of Canada
Government Resources for Elder Care
· Information on government-funded home care, caregiver tax credits, and long-term care eligibility
🔗 Government of Canada: Home and Continuing Care
🔗 Ontario Long-Term Care Home Waitlist
Caregiver Tax Credits & Financial Support
· Caregiver tax credits and disability tax credits to help with elder care costs.
🔗 Government of Canada: Caregiver Tax Credits
Retirement Planning Resources
· 📩 Want a free copy of Amy’s book, Breadcrumbs?
✉️ Email info@retirementplanningsimplified.ca (Available to Canadian listeners only)
For more elder care resources and planning insights, visit Retirement Planning Simplified.
Elder Care Insights: A Conversation with Senior Living Expert Amy Friesen
Case Study Overview
The conversation begins with a case study about an elderly woman in her 90s whose husband recently passed away. She has mobility issues and struggles with financial decision-making, though she can handle basic activities of daily living (ADLs). Her adult children are experiencing caregiver burnout while trying to balance their own lives with their mother's care needs. The mother strongly prefers to age in place, while the children are considering a care facility.
Initial Support Options for Aging in Place
When someone wishes to age in place but needs support, Amy Friesen recommends:
1. Home Safety Assessment: Remove tripping hazards like throw rugs and evaluate accessibility of kitchens, bathrooms, and stairs
2. Companion Services: Arrange for drivers/companions to help with errands, appointments, and social activities
3. Delivery Services: Set up meal delivery and grocery delivery services
4. Maintaining Stability: After a major life change (like losing a spouse), maintaining some stability in living situation can be beneficial
Transitioning to Higher Levels of Care
As care needs increase, families should consider:
1. Having proactive conversations about care thresholds and future plans
2. Government-funded home care services (though waiting lists may apply)
3. Respite care in retirement facilities for short-term relief
4. Retirement communities when home care becomes too difficult or expensive
5. Long-term care facilities when specialized care is required (with qualification requirements)
Approaching Difficult Conversations
Amy offers guidance on discussing care transitions with aging parents:
1. Be respectful and lighthearted when possible
2. Know your own capacity as a caregiver before starting conversations
3. Schedule specific times for discussions rather than springing them on the senior
4. Remember you're on the same team, not adversaries
5. Consider bringing in a professional mediator if needed
6. Acknowledge the significant life change the senior is facing
Elder Care Options Explained
The interview clarifies the spectrum of elder care options:
1. Family Caregiving: Family members provide direct care
2. Government Support: Public home care services (requires qualification)
3. Private Home Care: Professional caregivers come to the home
4. Retirement Communities: Independent living with various levels of support
5. Long-Term Care: Highest level of care (requires qualification, often has waiting lists)
Common Misconceptions
Amy identifies several misconceptions about elder care:
1. That retirement homes and long-term care facilities are the same (they're very different)
2. That the government will automatically step in and pay for care when needed
3. That seniors can get immediate access to long-term care without waiting lists or qualification
Benefits of Retirement Communities
Retirement communities offer numerous advantages:
1. Social connection and preventing isolation
2. Prepared meals without cooking or cleanup
3. Scalable care that can increase as needs change
4. Support staff monitoring for emerging issues
5. Reduced burden on family caregivers
Evaluating Care Facilities
When researching care facilities, Amy recommends focusing on:
1. Care progression capabilities: Can the facility accommodate increasing care needs, especially for progressive conditions?
2. Ambiance and gut feeling: Does the environment feel right for the individual's personality and preferences?
3. Considering both "shiny penny" luxury facilities and more homey options
Addressing Resistance to Care
When seniors resist moving to care facilities:
1. Education is key - for both caregivers and seniors
2. Bringing in outside professionals can sometimes break communication impasses
3. If a mentally competent senior refuses care, caregivers may need to "let them fail" while maintaining support
4. Be aware that distant family members may complicate the situation
Caregiver Burnout
Signs of caregiver burnout include:
1. Physical fatigue and exhaustion
2. Negative emotions and shortened patience
3. Physical health issues including digestive problems and stress symptoms
Balancing Caregiving With Personal Life
For caregivers balancing their own life goals with caregiving responsibilities:
1. Know your own capacity and limitations
2. "Learn to dance with guilt" - guilt exists whether you stay or go
3. Consider respite care options during travel
4. Establish clear expectations and compromises
Financial Planning for Elder Care
Financial considerations include:
1. Care costs can range dramatically (from $3,000 to $20,000+ monthly)
2. Home modifications for aging in place can be expensive
3. Financial planning should include both retirement AND care needs
4. Long-term care in Ontario offers basic rooms ($2,100/month), semi-private ($2,600), and private (~$3,100)
5. Subsidies may be available for those who cannot afford basic care
Technology for Aging in Place
Helpful technologies include:
1. Automated lighting to prevent falls
2. Medication reminders
3. Fall detection buttons and sensors
4. Consider the senior's tech-savviness when implementing solutions
Key Takeaways
1. You're not alone - Many people are facing similar elder care challenges
2. Planning is essential - Even a basic plan is better than facing a crisis unprepared
3. Education helps everyone - Both caregivers and seniors benefit from understanding options
4. Care isn't free - Government support is limited, so financial planning is crucial
5. Balance is key - Caregivers must balance their needs with their loved one's care